The sun never came out today. It came up, just not out. Well, at least it didn’t appear to. Instead, it poured heavy, sullen raindrops all day long, and it broke my 11-year-old’s heart. We’ve been blessed the last few weeks with some gorgeous sunshine here in the PNW, until these past few days. Today the rain fell mercilessly upon the dry, cracked ground. My boy sighed and gazed out the window, asking in a sad voice, “Why can’t it be sunny all of the time?”
Rain, rain go away
Living in the Pacific Northwest means we see LOTS of rain, so I can’t blame my youngest son for wishing the sun would always shine. There are days where I become so tired of the constant leakage from the heavens that I swear I’m moving out of here the first chance I get.
And then, all at once, the clouds disperse, and the sun shines where it was once colorless. In those golden rays, I see the beauty that only the rain could bring, lush evergreens and emerald rolling hills. I find I’ve fallen in love with where I live and even thank God for the rain.
The beauty I observe around me is due to equal parts of sun and rain.
I was explaining all of this to my boy, and as these words tumbled out of my mouth, God whispered, it’s the truth for your soul as well.
Embracing the rainy season for your soul
A storm I’ve been walking through in my life hasn’t let up for months. And though there’s sunshine all around me, I can still feel the rain inside.
There are days when the dialog in my head makes me feel overwhelmed and sad: I just want to be well. I want to eat without nausea. I want to eat a dinner that doesn’t have to be perfectly crafted so as not to make me sick. And sometimes, even still, I’ll feel sick. I just want to know what is wrong with me.
I find myself in this space where hope can quickly get snatched away if I allow it.
And believe me, I’ve allowed it a time or two…or three…or four…
I feel like echoing the words of my son, “Why can’t it be sunny all of the time?” What’s the point of all of this rain anyhow?
What the rain can do for our soul
Just like the rain falling from the heavens, the storms we endure don’t show immediate results. The rain creates puddles and mud and mess. So too does the rainstorms that we must walk through in our lives. Once the clouds clear and the sun shines on that muck, a flower springs up where the puddle once was.
Rain and sun for the soul. Though we hate to admit it, we need both.
What I know for sure is that the rain works as much in our hearts and lives as the sun. And believe me, I realize that when you’re in the trenches, it can seem unnecessary and unhelpful.
We need these ugly, rainy seasons in our lives to bring about the flowers in our souls.
I’m betting we would never see them otherwise.
If it were sunny all of the time, the earth would be scorched, and nothing would grow in this dry, cracked ground.
Just as the rain wets the earth and causes a fertile growing place, the rain our souls must endure allows change and growth.
Although it’s not a fun truth, trials and tears are sometimes needed. If we didn’t have the rainy difficulties in our lives, we’d become brittle from the false belief that we’ve got this all under control. The rain pours down and softens those places that become hard with the pride of believing we can do this thing called life all on our own.
Rain for our soul is a necessary thing. I believe it reminds us of just how human we are.
I can’t control how long my body takes to heal anymore than I can control the weather. And that’s the point.
Rainbows come after the rain, and beauty grows best after a storm
Even though I don’t love this trying, rainy time, I know that he loves me. He is walking through this with me and won’t let me drown.
I have to choose to believe that all of this rain on my heart lately is wetting the ground and making room for something better.
There will be a rainbow at the end of this tunnel of rain. I know it. I believe it. I have no clue what hues it will cast on my life once this storm has run its course, but I believe they’ll be radiant. And when the rain finally ceases, and the sun peaks its glorious head out from the clouds, I will stand, face shining in his grace while all those rainy spots dry up and become something beautiful.
As always, friend, thank you for stopping by,
Hello Susan, I enjoyed your writing so much. Bless You for your faith and encouragement. Just out of concern for you, I wanted to mention an illness I had that sounded similar to yours. One I had never heard of. Like you, I was very nauseas, and lost 30 pounds. It was found when I had a CT scan for diverticulitis. The illness was mesentary paniculitis, (an infection in the membrane on the outside of your intestines. Very rare– at that time only about 150 people in the world had it). It was an extremely difficult year or so, but I did get well, praying that you will soon. I was around 60 then. You are a lovely young woman, and will heal quickly, I pray. Keep the faith!
Carrie Vandervort says
Oh Susan, my heart breaks for you. I’ve been meditating for months now about how God in His love doesn’t necessarily operate in the way we’d expect. His ways seem upside down to me at times. We know God can redeem pain, but it’s still a mystery to me. It gnaws at me. The journey for us seems overwhelming at times. As a friend, my wish would be for all your struggles to end now. But there’s that song, “what if all the trials of this life, are our blessings in disguise” — and then I realize, I want God’s precious blessings! As of now, I’m not done trying to ponder my way through these thoughts… I love you, sweet sister. Praying for you.
Susan McIlmoil says
Thank you, Carrie. I so appreciate your kind words, I really do. It is tough but I’m working day by day to heal and figure out my body while trying to keep an eye turned towards God and his ways. I love that song! It’s the truth, it may be a hard truth, but it is true and so it comforts me that there is always a reason for the rain.
M @ In Beautiful Chaos says
Beautifully written! I can relate too well and I needed this reminder today, thank you!
M @ In Beautiful Chaos
Susan McIlmoil says
You are so welcome! It’s a daily reminder for me as well!