The man was exhausted and slumped over in defeat halfway up the massive hill he was climbing. Sweat dripped down his weary face from underneath his wide-brimmed hat. Just above where he was resting his aching bones sat an “over the hill” sign on a mound of delicious emerald-colored frosting. I was ten, and my father seemed ancient to me at the time. Forty appeared awful because obviously, all signs pointed to the beginning of the end—including his birthday cake.
One of my most vivid childhood memories is my dad’s surprise 40th birthday party. Friends and family came from near and far to celebrate the demise of his youth.
Luckily, the big, bad 40 was as far away from me as a dream.
But wouldn’t you know it, 40 finally caught up with me.
My musings on turning 40.
My musings on turning 40.
Ten years ago today, I was standing on the sandy beach of Puerto Vallarta, water lapping my feet and the sun warming my skin. I was celebrating the end of a decade and, more importantly, the beginning of a new one.
My 20’s were rough, so I wasn’t sad to say, “Arrivederci!” Instead, I welcomed 30 like a beautiful new friend and all its possibilities.
It’s been a little different saying goodbye to my 30s. We didn’t take an elaborate trip to a beautiful beach.
Secondly, my life is a bit chaotic right now. I’m a mom of three busy boys, ranging from 9 to nearly 16. Between homeschooling two of them and running like a crazy person most days to baseball, piano, drums, and driving lessons—to name a few—I don’t necessarily have time to go on a grand vacation to
mourn celebrate the end of my 30’s.
And lastly, it’s not the getting older part that I mind so much; it’s saying goodbye to a decade that I have loved. These last ten years have brought so many good things that it feels like I’ve crested the mountain of life—how could it possibly get any better?
I mean, 30 was good;
It’s not just the gray hairs popping up or the wrinkles at the corner of my eyes that leave me apprehensive about 40. Instead, it’s an all-around life change I see coming.
30 was fun.
The ’30s were groundbreaking and left me settled and comfortable with, well… me.
What could this new decade hold that could be better than that?
I think maybe I’ve mentioned before that I don’t love change.
I swear, it’s not just all about me either; it’s my people too. I am no longer a mom of little boys but a mom to young men, so I find that even my role as a mother is evolving.
It’s not bad, just different: New.
I feel a little like I’m still trying to figure out how I fit in this new skin of mine, this new decade, and this new season of life.
In the end, I have concluded, apprehensions and all, that the notions I had about 40 and the facts of it are a world apart. I did not look forward to 40, and I dreaded the thought of “aging.” (I’ll admit I fell prey to the belief that life would somehow lose value at this point.) It’s silly to think about now.
As 40 has neared and finally descended, I have found beauty in the changing inside and around me. On the day of my 40th birthday, I thought of the One who does not change while I continue to. The beauty lies in that He has carefully cared for me every day of my life until we meet face to face.
“Even to your old age I will be the same, and even to your graying years I will bear you! I have done it, and I will carry you; I will bear you and I will deliver you.” Isaiah 46:4
I can breathe easier when that name is on my mind and spoken on my lips.
My hair will gray, my boys will grow to be men, and another season will come as surely as the sun rises each morning. But Jesus never changes and will continue to be my anchor no matter my age or the season I find myself in.
Of that, I am sure, in a world of uncertainty.
He has proven Himself faithful to me day after day and year after year.
Because of this, I can confidently close the door on one decade and look with eagerness at the horizon of the next.
As always, friend, thank you for stopping by,