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You are here: Home / Anxiety / Take a “should” inventory

Take a “should” inventory

Last week got away from me quickly, and I didn’t have a chance to get the third post out about our discussion on anxiety causing “shoulds.” (Yes, all week, I was saying to myself, “I should sit down and write.”) *Sigh; it’s a never-ending battle.

Click here for the previous post, in case you missed it. 

 

take a should inventory

A should inventory

If you feel anxious and overwhelmed, I almost guarantee you have a whole list of “shoulds” following you around.

Every once in a while, it’s helpful to take stock of what is valuable and wipe out what is not. There are necessary shoulds that motivate and propel us forward—like my should to write. But often, most shoulds are unrealistic and paralyze us in a state of overwhelm.

Here’s a helpful exercise for you to do:

Write down everything you feel you have to do that’s been on your mind, whether for the day, week, month, or even year.

  1. What is truly a necessity? What has to be done? Star those things and move them over to the other side of the paper. Those are your must-do’s.

  2. What are the things that maybe you’d like to do but may not have time for? Circle those.

  3. What things would you like to do that you can push off or revisit later, maybe in a week, month, or year? Put a square around them.

  4. Now. What are the things on the list that you genuinely don’t have to do or want to do? More importantly: is there anything that just doesn’t matter to you—things that you feel are there because of expectations (yours or someone else’s?) Those are unnecessary shoulds.

Okay, now cross off all those #4’s; the ridiculous to-dos or “shoulds” that don’t matter to you. 

Those things you HAVE to do and the things you would like to do—These are the things that matter. The rest of it is entirely unnecessary for YOU.

Write out your new list of to-do’s and ask God for his help in letting the unnecessary, unrealistic “shoulds” go for good.

This is a practical tool when you feel your “shoulds” are getting out of control. Plus, it’s a tangible and simple reminder that even though we still “should” on ourselves from time to time, God never does. Instead, he enables us to work through our shoulds and use our time to honor Him. I pray this simple exercise helps you to rest in the grace and power He has given you. 


As always, friend, thank you for stopping by, 

*This post was featured on soul food Saturday by Living By Design Ministries.

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carryonmyheart

Following Jesus | Helping Others Choose Faith over Fear | Writer ✍🏻 | Faith Blogger | Anxiety Fighter | Fire 🔥 Wife | #boymom | Lover of Words |

December 21st, three days before Christmas, marked December 21st, three days before Christmas, marked the winter solstice for the Northern Hemisphere, the shortest day and the longest night. Although Christmas is said to be the “best time of the year,” winter can feel brutal for those struggling with the dark, frigid months and many battle with grief more at Christmas than at other times of the year. 

Perhaps grief and loneliness feel closer to you than anyone else this Christmas or maybe your world feels more fearful than faith-filled even though people surround you. If this is your struggle today, you are sincerely not alone.

We may be in the darkest, coldest time of the year—and perhaps you are in your darkest season—but Christmas day reminds us of the promise that the Light is coming to stay. One day, Jesus will return to end the endless winter and darkest night, not as a helpless baby but as a conquering king.

The celebration of Christmas isn’t just the fact that He once came; It is that He has promised to return. No matter how dark the night or cold the hour, His Light shines over the horizon.

Friend, keep faithfully looking to the dawn on the horizon where the Light is and where your hope stands firm. Fear not; this winter won’t last forever, which is reason enough to rejoice this Christmas.

Merry Christmas. ❤️
Full devotion at Crossmap.com (link in bio)
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Genesis 12:3-5

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Each beautifully crafted box is from a different region of the holy land and supports the businesses, artisans and families that call Israel home. They bring the Holy land toward you when you can’t go in person. 🫶🏼

✨Click the link to visit Artza and enter code Susan20 for 20% off. 
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I haven’t “introduced” myself in quite a while, an I haven’t “introduced” myself in quite a while, and I know how it is to follow a Social account, forget I followed it, and then see something pop up and wonder who it’s from and when I started following them. (Full disclosure: This has been known to happen within one day.)🤷🏻‍♀️

So, here goes: Hi 👋🏼 I’m Susan. I’m a writer, blogger, extroverted introvert, worrier, fear fighter, anxiety survivor, believer in Jesus, encourager, wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt and friend. 

* I write words that encourage and uplift. A few years ago, I started my blog, carryonmyheart, because writing helped me process and get everything inside my head “out.”

* The name of my blog contains the last words my grandma spoke to my family and me. You can click on the link in my bio if you’re curious about that. ❤️

* I’ve been blessed to have my writing published, a dream I never thought possible.

* I’m a very private person, so writing words that go out into the world is not easy or comfortable for me, but I feel it’s essential for a few reasons: I write to tell my story, talk about Jesus, and make sense of the nonsensical. I write to encourage others who battle with fear, anxiety, panic, depression and wrestle with faith because I know what it feels like to think you’re alone in that struggle.

* I have four brothers, married someone who has 6 brothers and I have 3 sons. No sisters or daughters but I’ve been blessed with wonderful sister-in-laws and amazing nieces. ❤️

* I’ve been married for 25 years to a firefighter. I have three sons; one is in Army basic training, one just graduated college, and the last is in high school and going through driver’s Ed. ( I AM SO THANKFUL this is the last kid I have to teach to drive!)😅

* My favorite thing to do is laugh and I’m drawn to funny people. I have amazing girlfriends that bring me so much joy. We get together and do ridiculous things (like taking prom pictures ), and laugh so hard our faces hurt. 

* And lastly, I have the cutest dog and cat. The older I get, the more I love my animals. I think my phone has more pictures of them than my kids. 😂

Is there anything you can relate to? I’d love to know. 🥰
I know not every ending is good, and not every beg I know not every ending is good, and not every beginning is beautiful—there is a portion of pain in most endings and even some beginnings. But I know God finds us, walks with us, and loves us best in the things that hurt, change, end, and begin.

Sometimes, we hold so tightly to the ending that we miss the beautiful beginning just around the corner. I pray today that we’ll look past the ending and see what God has in store over the horizon.

Read more: link in bio ✨

#carryonmyheart #christianblogger #faithblogger #encouragementwriter #faithwriter
I guess this is my cue that I’m done writing for t I guess this is my cue that I’m done writing for the day 🤷🏻‍♀️🥰😆 The minute they see me sit down in a comfortable spot to write they assume I’ve made them a bed. 

(To all you writers or people that work from home: do your animals do this?!) 

#carryonmyheart #faithwriter #encouragementwriter #faithbloggers #faithblogger
One week ago, our Logan left for basic training. H One week ago, our Logan left for basic training. He took the last couple of weeks off of work before leaving to spend time with family, friends, and his beloved old truck, which he’s worked hard to finish. 😂

I’m so thankful for that precious time with him before he left. We did things every day, like running errands, where we could spend time talking about life. We went to the zoo as a family—something we did often when the boys were little—and took a vacation with family, where we ate good food and laughed a lot. Finally, our beautiful family and friends who love him big came and covered him in hugs, kisses and prayer. 

Then, the day I was dreading came: we drove to the airport; I hugged him tight, reminded him to eat and be safe, and watched him walk through TSA while I spilled warm, salty tears. That drive home was the quietest drive we’ve ever taken.

Six days after he’d gone, I got a surprise FaceTime call from a soldier who looked a lot like my son. We patched Dad in, who was at the fire department, so Loges could show off his dog tags and shaved head and share that he had taken a trip to the emergency room. But he’s okay. 

“He’s okay.” It’s what I whisper these days—more like holy words, spilling out as prayer while I pass by his too-quiet bedroom.

Yes, it’s “just” basic training, and he’ll be back. But let me tell you: as I watched him walk through those metal detectors and disappear among the throngs of people, I knew then that life would never entirely be the same. 

Something ended. Something began. 

This kid has always had the heart of a servant. I knew from the time he was five or six that he would do something selfless. It’s just in his nature. And I’ve been holding my breath ever since.

I am beyond proud of this young man and the servant’s heart he possesses, but boy, is it hard on my heart. I miss him. Period. I can’t wait to give him the biggest hug when I see him again. ❤️ 

And also. Please pray for our troops… and their moms. I can safely speak for every military mom; we appreciate it. ❤️🙏🏻

#mysonisarmystrong
(2Corinthians 12:8-9) Paul’s message in this scri (2Corinthians 12:8-9) 
Paul’s message in this scripture is not one of defeat, where we shrug our shoulders and say, “Well, I tried,” No, it’s one of victory! It’s the key to understanding how God’s power is perfected. His strength rests with the weak, the struggling, the poor, and the grieving. The truth we so often forget is that our humanity is what qualifies us to carry God’s power. Jesus granted to us, through the Holy Spirit, the “Divine power” for “All things that pertain to life and godliness.” (2 Peter 1:3)

This world will tell us to overcome, ignore, and banish our weaknesses. However, God tells us to rest in his grace, which is enough for him to do his powerful, perfect work. His strength shines brightest when we finally lay it all down and admit, “I’m weak; I can’t do this.”

The truth is that your weakness can be the most significant conduit of God’s power. Knowing this should cause us to victoriously shout aloud with Paul, “When I am weak, then I am strong!” 

#carryonmyheart #christianblogger #strongandcourageous #powerinweakness
Just incase you or someone you love need this remi Just incase you or someone you love need this reminder today:

I know people have made you feel this way—and most likely even your own mind—but you’re not crazy. I promise. The panic that keeps hammering you and the thoughts that won’t stop spinning has a name: They are panic and anxiety. Again, no, you’re not crazy.

YOU’RE HUMAN. 

#anxiety #panicattacks #hopeforanxiety 
#truthandkindness 

❤️‍🩹link in bio to finish reading
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I’m a wife to Don, who happens to be my best friend. I’m also a mama to three wonderful, fun, and dashing young men. I love words and writing, and I love encouraging others to follow Jesus and trust Him with their lives.
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