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You are here: Home / Faith / The ministry of tears and the One who keeps them

The ministry of tears and the One who keeps them

Tears fall for a reason and they are your strength not weakness.-The boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse. Charlie Mackesy

 My dad passed away three years ago, the week before Christmas. He spent about a week and a half in the hospital due to the lung disease he was battling. We were weary from driving back and forth but were happy to sit by his side, hoping he’d return home before Christmas day.

One morning, while getting some shopping done—I still needed to make Christmas happen for my family—Dad called me from the hospital. He told me his heart wasn’t doing well, and the doctors weren’t sure what else they could do. I could hear the machines pumping in the background and knew he was worn down and frustrated. “It’s okay, Dad; we’ll be there soon,” I soothingly said as I dropped what was in my hands, leaving the mall’s holiday buzz for the hospital’s sad reality.

He passed away just before midnight that same day. His body had given up, and he went home, just not how we had hoped.


Tears falling and twinkling lights.

I do not overlook the juxtaposition of twinkling Christmas lights alongside grief. Special days like Christmas do not shield us from hard, unbearable things. Even when we desperately want these times to be beautiful, they often are not.

In this space between birth and death, we tend to dig our heels into the Earth, putting hope in painless days and perfect health, often forgetting that our breath is temporary. When we’re gazing longingly at the temporal, we’re left shocked when daddies die just before Christmas.

I don’t want tears to fall when I’m told I should be full of joy, but there I was, and here I am, with tear-stained cheeks.

Every tear will be wiped away.

We grieve here on this side of heaven; we weep much and often. As we shed our tears, we wait for another place, another time, and another day when we will experience joy every day, not just once a year.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. Revelation 21:4 

Friend, I don’t know if you’re like me this Christmas season, where grief sits closely next to joy. But if you are, I pray you will find comfort in the ministry of tears that is ours only here. We live in a sacred space of in-between where unexplainable joy sits down next to unimaginable pain. Where we have the beautiful ability to express how much we have loved and how deeply we are hurting. 

Only on this Earth are we blessed with the stewardship of grief and tears. Because in the world to come, there will be no pain, sorrow, or tears. And, like all things given to us here, we must steward them well.

Too often, we stifle our tears or are ashamed of them instead of honoring them and their purpose. After all, they stem from a place where we express our feelings more effectively through our eyes than our mouths.

What more excellent gift can we give than to weep with the one who weeps? When loss and pain are unimaginable, tears speak a language of love where words are lacking. Our falling tears collide with another’s pain in a way that nothing else can. They are beautiful, glistening reminders that not only will He one day wipe them away but also that they are kept and counted while we wait.

It is a ministry, these tears that fall.

The keeper and wiper of tears

Whether you find yourself shedding tears of grief or joy—or maybe both—this holiday season, may you remember the keeper and wiper of every one of them. 

Jesus shared deeply in the ministry of tears while he walked this Earth. His weeping was not concealed and is mentioned in several places:

By a grave.

Over a city.

And before his journey to the cross.

I am encouraged that Jesus cried. I don’t believe there is a more excellent show of His humanity than in the shedding of tears. It is no small thing that the Holy Spirit chose to share the moments of Jesus’ vulnerability through the hands of men who walked alongside Him. 

Crying can have a negative connotation, causing us to feel weak and vulnerable. So, when we see the God of the universe shed tears, we internalize the value. Who are we to stifle our tears when our savior didn’t? After all, we must first shed a tear to rejoice in the hope that He will wipe them all away.

We must feel our pain here before it can be taken from us forever there.

If this season of life finds you with more sorrow than joy and weeping than laughing, let your tears stand as a reminder of their necessity. This is a sacred place where you now stand because it is the only time you will stand here. A better place awaits, and a better time where our tears will no longer fall.

So, in the meantime, know that each tear serves a purpose, and your creator’s glorious hand will one day wipe each one away.

And remember, the fact that He specifically mentions our tears confirms they are invaluable to Him.  Friend, He sees and embraces you, and your tears hold more worth than you can imagine.

You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? Psalm 56:8


As always, friend, thank you for stopping by,

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Comments

  1. Lois Flowers says

    January 16, 2024 at 9:54 pm

    Oh Susan … you express this all so perfectly. I don’t full-on cry very much, but for months and even years after my parents died, the tears flowed freely singing songs at church. It was like a pressure-release valve or something. 🙂 To see tears pooling in another’s eyes as we share our grief is such a gift, one that we can in turn offer to others who share their grief with us.

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    • Susan McIlmoil says

      January 17, 2024 at 6:20 pm

      Lois, Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment. It is like a pressure release, isn’t it? I’ve found it to be such a gift from God in a way I never had seen before.

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  2. Linda Stoll says

    December 16, 2023 at 3:16 am

    Susan, I hear your heart. I’m so very sorry for your deep loss, especially intertwined with Christmas. May you find Jesus to be very near as you make your way through this bittersweet season …

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    • Susan McIlmoil says

      December 18, 2023 at 4:22 pm

      Thank you, Linda. I am so grateful for Jesus’ tears and the promise he’ll one day wipe all ours away. Thank you so much for stopping by.

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carryonmyheart

Following Jesus | Helping Others Choose Faith over Fear | Writer ✍🏻 | Faith Blogger | Anxiety Fighter | Fire 🔥 Wife | #boymom | Lover of Words |

December 21st, three days before Christmas, marked December 21st, three days before Christmas, marked the winter solstice for the Northern Hemisphere, the shortest day and the longest night. Although Christmas is said to be the “best time of the year,” winter can feel brutal for those struggling with the dark, frigid months and many battle with grief more at Christmas than at other times of the year. 

Perhaps grief and loneliness feel closer to you than anyone else this Christmas or maybe your world feels more fearful than faith-filled even though people surround you. If this is your struggle today, you are sincerely not alone.

We may be in the darkest, coldest time of the year—and perhaps you are in your darkest season—but Christmas day reminds us of the promise that the Light is coming to stay. One day, Jesus will return to end the endless winter and darkest night, not as a helpless baby but as a conquering king.

The celebration of Christmas isn’t just the fact that He once came; It is that He has promised to return. No matter how dark the night or cold the hour, His Light shines over the horizon.

Friend, keep faithfully looking to the dawn on the horizon where the Light is and where your hope stands firm. Fear not; this winter won’t last forever, which is reason enough to rejoice this Christmas.

Merry Christmas. ❤️
Full devotion at Crossmap.com (link in bio)
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I haven’t “introduced” myself in quite a while, an I haven’t “introduced” myself in quite a while, and I know how it is to follow a Social account, forget I followed it, and then see something pop up and wonder who it’s from and when I started following them. (Full disclosure: This has been known to happen within one day.)🤷🏻‍♀️

So, here goes: Hi 👋🏼 I’m Susan. I’m a writer, blogger, extroverted introvert, worrier, fear fighter, anxiety survivor, believer in Jesus, encourager, wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt and friend. 

* I write words that encourage and uplift. A few years ago, I started my blog, carryonmyheart, because writing helped me process and get everything inside my head “out.”

* The name of my blog contains the last words my grandma spoke to my family and me. You can click on the link in my bio if you’re curious about that. ❤️

* I’ve been blessed to have my writing published, a dream I never thought possible.

* I’m a very private person, so writing words that go out into the world is not easy or comfortable for me, but I feel it’s essential for a few reasons: I write to tell my story, talk about Jesus, and make sense of the nonsensical. I write to encourage others who battle with fear, anxiety, panic, depression and wrestle with faith because I know what it feels like to think you’re alone in that struggle.

* I have four brothers, married someone who has 6 brothers and I have 3 sons. No sisters or daughters but I’ve been blessed with wonderful sister-in-laws and amazing nieces. ❤️

* I’ve been married for 25 years to a firefighter. I have three sons; one is in Army basic training, one just graduated college, and the last is in high school and going through driver’s Ed. ( I AM SO THANKFUL this is the last kid I have to teach to drive!)😅

* My favorite thing to do is laugh and I’m drawn to funny people. I have amazing girlfriends that bring me so much joy. We get together and do ridiculous things (like taking prom pictures ), and laugh so hard our faces hurt. 

* And lastly, I have the cutest dog and cat. The older I get, the more I love my animals. I think my phone has more pictures of them than my kids. 😂

Is there anything you can relate to? I’d love to know. 🥰
I know not every ending is good, and not every beg I know not every ending is good, and not every beginning is beautiful—there is a portion of pain in most endings and even some beginnings. But I know God finds us, walks with us, and loves us best in the things that hurt, change, end, and begin.

Sometimes, we hold so tightly to the ending that we miss the beautiful beginning just around the corner. I pray today that we’ll look past the ending and see what God has in store over the horizon.

Read more: link in bio ✨

#carryonmyheart #christianblogger #faithblogger #encouragementwriter #faithwriter
I guess this is my cue that I’m done writing for t I guess this is my cue that I’m done writing for the day 🤷🏻‍♀️🥰😆 The minute they see me sit down in a comfortable spot to write they assume I’ve made them a bed. 

(To all you writers or people that work from home: do your animals do this?!) 

#carryonmyheart #faithwriter #encouragementwriter #faithbloggers #faithblogger
One week ago, our Logan left for basic training. H One week ago, our Logan left for basic training. He took the last couple of weeks off of work before leaving to spend time with family, friends, and his beloved old truck, which he’s worked hard to finish. 😂

I’m so thankful for that precious time with him before he left. We did things every day, like running errands, where we could spend time talking about life. We went to the zoo as a family—something we did often when the boys were little—and took a vacation with family, where we ate good food and laughed a lot. Finally, our beautiful family and friends who love him big came and covered him in hugs, kisses and prayer. 

Then, the day I was dreading came: we drove to the airport; I hugged him tight, reminded him to eat and be safe, and watched him walk through TSA while I spilled warm, salty tears. That drive home was the quietest drive we’ve ever taken.

Six days after he’d gone, I got a surprise FaceTime call from a soldier who looked a lot like my son. We patched Dad in, who was at the fire department, so Loges could show off his dog tags and shaved head and share that he had taken a trip to the emergency room. But he’s okay. 

“He’s okay.” It’s what I whisper these days—more like holy words, spilling out as prayer while I pass by his too-quiet bedroom.

Yes, it’s “just” basic training, and he’ll be back. But let me tell you: as I watched him walk through those metal detectors and disappear among the throngs of people, I knew then that life would never entirely be the same. 

Something ended. Something began. 

This kid has always had the heart of a servant. I knew from the time he was five or six that he would do something selfless. It’s just in his nature. And I’ve been holding my breath ever since.

I am beyond proud of this young man and the servant’s heart he possesses, but boy, is it hard on my heart. I miss him. Period. I can’t wait to give him the biggest hug when I see him again. ❤️ 

And also. Please pray for our troops… and their moms. I can safely speak for every military mom; we appreciate it. ❤️🙏🏻

#mysonisarmystrong
(2Corinthians 12:8-9) Paul’s message in this scri (2Corinthians 12:8-9) 
Paul’s message in this scripture is not one of defeat, where we shrug our shoulders and say, “Well, I tried,” No, it’s one of victory! It’s the key to understanding how God’s power is perfected. His strength rests with the weak, the struggling, the poor, and the grieving. The truth we so often forget is that our humanity is what qualifies us to carry God’s power. Jesus granted to us, through the Holy Spirit, the “Divine power” for “All things that pertain to life and godliness.” (2 Peter 1:3)

This world will tell us to overcome, ignore, and banish our weaknesses. However, God tells us to rest in his grace, which is enough for him to do his powerful, perfect work. His strength shines brightest when we finally lay it all down and admit, “I’m weak; I can’t do this.”

The truth is that your weakness can be the most significant conduit of God’s power. Knowing this should cause us to victoriously shout aloud with Paul, “When I am weak, then I am strong!” 

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Just incase you or someone you love need this remi Just incase you or someone you love need this reminder today:

I know people have made you feel this way—and most likely even your own mind—but you’re not crazy. I promise. The panic that keeps hammering you and the thoughts that won’t stop spinning has a name: They are panic and anxiety. Again, no, you’re not crazy.

YOU’RE HUMAN. 

#anxiety #panicattacks #hopeforanxiety 
#truthandkindness 

❤️‍🩹link in bio to finish reading
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I’m a wife to Don, who happens to be my best friend. I’m also a mama to three wonderful, fun, and dashing young men. I love words and writing, and I love encouraging others to follow Jesus and trust Him with their lives.
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