• Anxiety & Depression Series
    • Finding Help Now
    • View All Posts
  • Link-Ups
  • Share the Burden
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

Carry on My Heart

Choosing faith over fear in the everyday...

  • Carry on My Heart
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Why Carry on My Heart?
  • Contact Me
  • Resources for anxiety, fear and depression
  • Share the Burden
  • Contributor and Featured
You are here: Home / Family / How to be the Loudest Voice our Kids Hear

How to be the Loudest Voice our Kids Hear

In a world full of ugly how will we teach our children to be decent human beings?

It’s the question at the heart of several conversations I’ve been a part of in recent months. With Hollywood’s current events and our tumultuous politics, this has been a recurring topic on social media and in personal conversation.

I’ve heard comments such as these:

“How will my boys be men that respect women when we have a president like this?”

“When those in power behave this way how are we to teach our kids it’s wrong?”

“How do I explain the ugly things that happen in this world to my kids?”

People in the spotlight are responsible for the most hideous behaviors and appear to be above the law. More shootings and ugliness spill out daily into our homes from simply turning on the television. At the swipe of a finger, the news bombards not only us but our children as well.

We worry about how their hearts and minds will be affected by the people in places of prominence and the events in our world.

It can leave us feeling helpless.

So, how do we raise men and women that respect others while the world pushes in?

Going on a walk with my family, I happened to lag behind a bit messing with the dog. I looked up and pulled out my phone just in time to catch this picture. As I glanced down at my phone, the thought crossed my mind.

This is how…

how to be the loudest voice they hear

How to be the loudest voice they hear

My hubby and my oldest were walking, genuinely engaged in a conversation about serious issues. We want them to come to us first when they have a struggle and we are so honored when they let us in.

We are far from perfect parents but we make it our mission to have our boys consider us a safe place. My husband and I decided to have an open-door policy in our home, to be honest with our boys.

 We choose to talk about life. Real. Not fun. Ugly. Exciting. Glorious. Confusing. Life. Un-filtered and uncensored. Sometimes the conversations aren’t fun, and they aren’t always pretty and sometimes we have to initiate because they’re embarrassed.

There are days my kids see and hear things I’d rather they not. I can’t control what comes out of the mouth of the president, the celebrity on tv, or for that matter, the person next to us. And I certainly don’t always agree with their views.

How to be the loudest voice they hear: Talk to them

My oldest son is quite literally growing into a man before my eyes, and as I watched my husband walking with him I was filled with a sense of awe. An understanding of the great privilege a parent holds gripped me all over again.

I believe the greatest mistake we can make in parenting is to put the power to impact our children into the hands of others. Whether this is a politician, school,  church, society, or anyone else.

When we throw our hands up in defeat we are claiming helplessness over our own children; Instead of this, we should be claiming promises over them.

When we throw our hands up in defeat, we claim helplessness over our own children.. when we should be claiming promises over them.Click To Tweet

Ours are the words they hear daily. It’s our voices that have the ability to shape what they understand to be true of the world and themselves.

With a million voices vying for their attention, I want ours to be the loudest. We are the ones that love them. No matter how well-intentioned he may be, the president doesn’t love my children. Whether they be a republican or democrat, conservative or liberal, they don’t love our children.

They do not know my children individually and they do not know what is best for them.

Therefore, I will not give them that much credit.

I refuse to give away the power that I possess to influence my children because of what celebrities, politicians, or anyone else choose to do or say. In a world full of agendas and lies, I pray that our home will be filled with love and grace so that they won’t feel the need to look elsewhere for their worth.. or anyone else’s, for that matter.

Wherever I may fear the greatest threat comes from, supposing it’s the White House or the house down the street, I want my kids to know that their greatest ally on Earth is right here, walking next to them.

how to be the loudest voice they hear

I pray they’ll remember the love they’ve been given and the truth they’ve been shown right here when questions arise and the ugliest part of humanity shows its face.

This is what I hope will lead and guide them as they grow into men.

Though imperfect as we are, we love them fiercely. My hope is, if I am honest with them for my need for grace, they will be honest with their need and that will extend far beyond our home.

Ultimately, my prayer is that because they have been given grace, they will be grace givers, always.

That they will see and know the ultimate Grace Giver.

We certainly can not keep them from all the ugly in this world. But it is my privilege to take their hand and walk with them through it.


As always, friend, thank you for stopping by!

 

 

Feel free to Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading…

Related

Tweet
Pin45
Share
45 Shares
«
»

Family, Homeschooling, Motherhood

Comments

  1. Jessie @ One Lost Coin says

    July 10, 2018 at 9:23 pm

    I love this post so much. I think it’s so easy for parents to shy away from tough issues when really we need to be engaging them. We have tried to start young with my 3 year old. He knows that in the end “the good guys always win” even if it doesn’t immediately seem like it because with God, we always win, it’s a win win situation! Thank you for sharing this.

    Loading...
    • Susan McIlmoil says

      July 10, 2018 at 10:01 pm

      Yes, Jessie, that is the truth! It’s remembering that we may not see the “win” right now but God is on the throne and the ultimate war is won, we just have to keep them looking up at Him.

      Loading...
  2. Rebecca Jones says

    July 10, 2018 at 6:55 pm

    I agree, don’t give your voice in the way boys learn to be men. they may see and hear lots of things and find role models that are unacceptable, and keep their heads in a cloud of superheroes, but ultimately, the parents are the best example, especially of how to reach each other as a couple. I am reposting this, thanks.

    Loading...
    • Susan McIlmoil says

      July 10, 2018 at 10:00 pm

      Thanks for reposting, Rebecca!

      Loading...

Social

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Recent Posts

  • Unseen Scars, Unspoken Grace: The Death of a Church, The Hope of Christ June 10, 2025
  • Walking In Peace: Trading Worry for Prayer and Action February 23, 2025
  • Towards the Land: An eternal covenant and gift for today November 25, 2024
  • The end of something Good and the beginning of something beautiful November 1, 2024
  • How to Share the Burden of Mental Health September 22, 2024

Categories

  • Anxiety
  • Anxiety & Depression Series
  • Depression
  • Faith
  • Family
  • Homeschooling
  • Motherhood

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required

Follow me on Pinterest!

carryonmyheart

Following Jesus | Helping Others Choose Faith over Fear | Writer ✍🏻 | Faith Blogger | Anxiety Fighter | Fire 🔥 Wife | #boymom | Lover of Words |

December 21st, three days before Christmas, marked December 21st, three days before Christmas, marked the winter solstice for the Northern Hemisphere, the shortest day and the longest night. Although Christmas is said to be the “best time of the year,” winter can feel brutal for those struggling with the dark, frigid months and many battle with grief more at Christmas than at other times of the year. 

Perhaps grief and loneliness feel closer to you than anyone else this Christmas or maybe your world feels more fearful than faith-filled even though people surround you. If this is your struggle today, you are sincerely not alone.

We may be in the darkest, coldest time of the year—and perhaps you are in your darkest season—but Christmas day reminds us of the promise that the Light is coming to stay. One day, Jesus will return to end the endless winter and darkest night, not as a helpless baby but as a conquering king.

The celebration of Christmas isn’t just the fact that He once came; It is that He has promised to return. No matter how dark the night or cold the hour, His Light shines over the horizon.

Friend, keep faithfully looking to the dawn on the horizon where the Light is and where your hope stands firm. Fear not; this winter won’t last forever, which is reason enough to rejoice this Christmas.

Merry Christmas. ❤️
Full devotion at Crossmap.com (link in bio)
Artza means towards the land. I will bless those Artza means towards the land.

I will bless those who bless you… and all the families of the earth shall be blessed through you… and they went out towards the Land”
Genesis 12:3-5

Artza has been on a mission since they began to strengthen your connection to the Holy Land and the stories of the Bible by bringing the bounty of Israel to your door.

Each beautifully crafted box is from a different region of the holy land and supports the businesses, artisans and families that call Israel home. They bring the Holy land toward you when you can’t go in person. 🫶🏼

✨Click the link to visit Artza and enter code Susan20 for 20% off. 
https://www.artzabox.com/

#ad #artza #israel
I haven’t “introduced” myself in quite a while, an I haven’t “introduced” myself in quite a while, and I know how it is to follow a Social account, forget I followed it, and then see something pop up and wonder who it’s from and when I started following them. (Full disclosure: This has been known to happen within one day.)🤷🏻‍♀️

So, here goes: Hi 👋🏼 I’m Susan. I’m a writer, blogger, extroverted introvert, worrier, fear fighter, anxiety survivor, believer in Jesus, encourager, wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt and friend. 

* I write words that encourage and uplift. A few years ago, I started my blog, carryonmyheart, because writing helped me process and get everything inside my head “out.”

* The name of my blog contains the last words my grandma spoke to my family and me. You can click on the link in my bio if you’re curious about that. ❤️

* I’ve been blessed to have my writing published, a dream I never thought possible.

* I’m a very private person, so writing words that go out into the world is not easy or comfortable for me, but I feel it’s essential for a few reasons: I write to tell my story, talk about Jesus, and make sense of the nonsensical. I write to encourage others who battle with fear, anxiety, panic, depression and wrestle with faith because I know what it feels like to think you’re alone in that struggle.

* I have four brothers, married someone who has 6 brothers and I have 3 sons. No sisters or daughters but I’ve been blessed with wonderful sister-in-laws and amazing nieces. ❤️

* I’ve been married for 25 years to a firefighter. I have three sons; one is in Army basic training, one just graduated college, and the last is in high school and going through driver’s Ed. ( I AM SO THANKFUL this is the last kid I have to teach to drive!)😅

* My favorite thing to do is laugh and I’m drawn to funny people. I have amazing girlfriends that bring me so much joy. We get together and do ridiculous things (like taking prom pictures ), and laugh so hard our faces hurt. 

* And lastly, I have the cutest dog and cat. The older I get, the more I love my animals. I think my phone has more pictures of them than my kids. 😂

Is there anything you can relate to? I’d love to know. 🥰
I know not every ending is good, and not every beg I know not every ending is good, and not every beginning is beautiful—there is a portion of pain in most endings and even some beginnings. But I know God finds us, walks with us, and loves us best in the things that hurt, change, end, and begin.

Sometimes, we hold so tightly to the ending that we miss the beautiful beginning just around the corner. I pray today that we’ll look past the ending and see what God has in store over the horizon.

Read more: link in bio ✨

#carryonmyheart #christianblogger #faithblogger #encouragementwriter #faithwriter
I guess this is my cue that I’m done writing for t I guess this is my cue that I’m done writing for the day 🤷🏻‍♀️🥰😆 The minute they see me sit down in a comfortable spot to write they assume I’ve made them a bed. 

(To all you writers or people that work from home: do your animals do this?!) 

#carryonmyheart #faithwriter #encouragementwriter #faithbloggers #faithblogger
One week ago, our Logan left for basic training. H One week ago, our Logan left for basic training. He took the last couple of weeks off of work before leaving to spend time with family, friends, and his beloved old truck, which he’s worked hard to finish. 😂

I’m so thankful for that precious time with him before he left. We did things every day, like running errands, where we could spend time talking about life. We went to the zoo as a family—something we did often when the boys were little—and took a vacation with family, where we ate good food and laughed a lot. Finally, our beautiful family and friends who love him big came and covered him in hugs, kisses and prayer. 

Then, the day I was dreading came: we drove to the airport; I hugged him tight, reminded him to eat and be safe, and watched him walk through TSA while I spilled warm, salty tears. That drive home was the quietest drive we’ve ever taken.

Six days after he’d gone, I got a surprise FaceTime call from a soldier who looked a lot like my son. We patched Dad in, who was at the fire department, so Loges could show off his dog tags and shaved head and share that he had taken a trip to the emergency room. But he’s okay. 

“He’s okay.” It’s what I whisper these days—more like holy words, spilling out as prayer while I pass by his too-quiet bedroom.

Yes, it’s “just” basic training, and he’ll be back. But let me tell you: as I watched him walk through those metal detectors and disappear among the throngs of people, I knew then that life would never entirely be the same. 

Something ended. Something began. 

This kid has always had the heart of a servant. I knew from the time he was five or six that he would do something selfless. It’s just in his nature. And I’ve been holding my breath ever since.

I am beyond proud of this young man and the servant’s heart he possesses, but boy, is it hard on my heart. I miss him. Period. I can’t wait to give him the biggest hug when I see him again. ❤️ 

And also. Please pray for our troops… and their moms. I can safely speak for every military mom; we appreciate it. ❤️🙏🏻

#mysonisarmystrong
(2Corinthians 12:8-9) Paul’s message in this scri (2Corinthians 12:8-9) 
Paul’s message in this scripture is not one of defeat, where we shrug our shoulders and say, “Well, I tried,” No, it’s one of victory! It’s the key to understanding how God’s power is perfected. His strength rests with the weak, the struggling, the poor, and the grieving. The truth we so often forget is that our humanity is what qualifies us to carry God’s power. Jesus granted to us, through the Holy Spirit, the “Divine power” for “All things that pertain to life and godliness.” (2 Peter 1:3)

This world will tell us to overcome, ignore, and banish our weaknesses. However, God tells us to rest in his grace, which is enough for him to do his powerful, perfect work. His strength shines brightest when we finally lay it all down and admit, “I’m weak; I can’t do this.”

The truth is that your weakness can be the most significant conduit of God’s power. Knowing this should cause us to victoriously shout aloud with Paul, “When I am weak, then I am strong!” 

#carryonmyheart #christianblogger #strongandcourageous #powerinweakness
Just incase you or someone you love need this remi Just incase you or someone you love need this reminder today:

I know people have made you feel this way—and most likely even your own mind—but you’re not crazy. I promise. The panic that keeps hammering you and the thoughts that won’t stop spinning has a name: They are panic and anxiety. Again, no, you’re not crazy.

YOU’RE HUMAN. 

#anxiety #panicattacks #hopeforanxiety 
#truthandkindness 

❤️‍🩹link in bio to finish reading
Follow on Instagram
Grace and Truth

Social

  • View Susan Treacy Mcilmoil’s profile on Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Meet Susan

I’m a wife to Don, who happens to be my best friend. I’m also a mama to three wonderful, fun, and dashing young men. I love words and writing, and I love encouraging others to follow Jesus and trust Him with their lives.
Feel free to stay awhile and take a peek around my site!

Reader Favorites

  • 6 Things you need to say to your son
    6 Things you need to say to your son
  • What if He's not real? What if God is not real?
    What if He's not real? What if God is not real?
  • The Spiritual Side of Anxiety (Part 4)
    The Spiritual Side of Anxiety (Part 4)
  • How to make peace with your enemy
    How to make peace with your enemy
  • Why We Don't Do Santa Claus
    Why We Don't Do Santa Claus

Subscribe for Updates!

Copyright © 2026 · Darling theme by Restored 316

Loading Comments...
%d