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You are here: Home / Anxiety / When a rose blooms in November

When a rose blooms in November

There it was, a splash of soft lilac, contrasted by the sea of oranges, reds, and yellows just behind it. The sweet little surprise shocked me at first as I was letting our puppy out to go potty.

A rose in November.

“Well, you’re a little late to the party,” I whispered, as I softly brushed my fingers across her fragrant petals.

I can relate to my lavender late bloomer.

I feel like blooming late has been the story of my life. Not only did I hit puberty as a sophomore in high school—talk about pure awkwardness—but it took me most of my adult life to figure out my purpose and spiritual gifting.

And even still, I’m tweaking the specifics of understanding exactly which road Jesus wants me to be traveling down. It feels like everyone else knows right where they’re supposed to be.

Except me.

Blooming where we are

I find that the older I get the easier it is to fall for the lie that blooming late equates to never arriving at all. I’ve often muttered to myself while standing  outside a door of opportunity, “Everyone else arrived at the party hours ago, so what’s the point of showing up at all?”

It can feel like being late to the game is grounds for not being worthy enough to be put in at all.

Watching what seems to be a perfectly paced world achieving goals and doing their next great thing,  leaves this late bloomer with the feeling of being out of place no matter where I’m standing.

This is the age-old “feelings vs. truth” fight that I battle. Because I know it’s silly, I know that while I’m here on this Earth I have the potential to do the “thing” God has me to do. It’s just my feelings often tell me otherwise.

Jesus the carpenter

Something that fascinates me about Jesus’s life here on Earth, is the fact that he lived for 30 years in utter obscurity. 30 years! The son of God lived among his creation, walked among silly humans, and even made himself subservient to them. He didn’t see fit to make a fuss over who he was.

When He began His ministry, Jesus Himself was about thirty years of age… Luke 3:23

I suppose normally, this wouldn’t be too old, at least not by today’s standards. Most people with a direct goal in mind go to college and then start their careers at some point between 25 and 30. However, Jesus didn’t plan for ministry in the world’s view. He didn’t go to seminary or get professional training. He spent years and years “just” being a carpenter. His whole young life was spent learning the trade of carpentry and then one day, just like that, he began his ministry.

But the part that gets me—he was God. Sure, he was man. But he was God too. He knew the clock was ticking until 33, and yet, he didn’t rush.

He didn’t go in front of the Father’s plan. No, he just did his carpentry work quietly waiting to bloom.

And then one day he was the messiah they had all been looking for.

But the truth is, he was always the messiah, wasn’t he? It just took some time for everyone else to see what he knew all along.

I think that’s how it works with us as well. We’re who we’re supposed to be whether we realize it or not. He knows our potential, he knows when it’s our time… It may just take a little lot of time for us to see.

I have to ask myself, “If Jesus could wait for the perfect timing, then why can’t I?” It’s humbling to realize that I’m not in charge of when I bloom—or how long that bloom lasts. God has a beautiful plan for my life and my purpose. My job is to remain faithful in the waiting.

Blooming late doesn’t mean at all

I think when we, or anyone we know, take time to do the “thing” they were meant to do, it can seem as though it’s not worth the wait. When, in fact, everything we know tells us otherwise. I’ve never seen a wine or cheese label that said, “Made super fast to taste better.” No, typically it prides itself on how long it’s been aged.

The funny thing about a late bloomer is that often the wait was totally worth it. The failures, the trials, the uncertainties, and setbacks along the way, make the end bloom so much more beautiful.

We assume that if we haven’t figured out what we’re supposed to be doing by a certain age then it’s too late. We’ve lost our chance.

Game over.

But this just isn’t the case. Our bloom may not look like everyone else’s. We may be flashing bright summer colors well into Autumn.

And that’s okay.

As He often does, my Jesus brought this gentle reminder to me through his creation. This sweet little rose brought me joy and perspective on this fall day. The golds, reds, and oranges are brilliant just now, but as they blow away, a whisper of lilac showed up to remind me that we’re never too late if we bloom right where God intended us to.


As always, friend, thank you for stopping by,

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Comments

  1. Janet says

    April 7, 2022 at 7:39 pm

    I really resonated with this blog. I spent many years wondering when my time to bloom was until God finally showed me that the journey was just as important as the destination. Or, put another way, we are like the rose bush that is growing from a seed. At every stage, from sprout to blooming rose bush, it is doing exactly what it was meant to do. So just because the blooms aren’t there doesn’t mean it is not doing exactly what God created it to do.

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    • Susan McIlmoil says

      April 10, 2022 at 12:05 pm

      That is so true, Janet. I love that point you made, every season is for a purpose and some will certainly lack any blooms at all. Thank you for stopping by and for your comment!

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  2. Amélé says

    November 26, 2021 at 3:36 pm

    Thanks, Susan, and God bless you!

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carryonmyheart

Following Jesus | Helping Others Choose Faith over Fear | Writer ✍🏻 | Faith Blogger | Anxiety Fighter | Fire 🔥 Wife | #boymom | Lover of Words |

December 21st, three days before Christmas, marked December 21st, three days before Christmas, marked the winter solstice for the Northern Hemisphere, the shortest day and the longest night. Although Christmas is said to be the “best time of the year,” winter can feel brutal for those struggling with the dark, frigid months and many battle with grief more at Christmas than at other times of the year. 

Perhaps grief and loneliness feel closer to you than anyone else this Christmas or maybe your world feels more fearful than faith-filled even though people surround you. If this is your struggle today, you are sincerely not alone.

We may be in the darkest, coldest time of the year—and perhaps you are in your darkest season—but Christmas day reminds us of the promise that the Light is coming to stay. One day, Jesus will return to end the endless winter and darkest night, not as a helpless baby but as a conquering king.

The celebration of Christmas isn’t just the fact that He once came; It is that He has promised to return. No matter how dark the night or cold the hour, His Light shines over the horizon.

Friend, keep faithfully looking to the dawn on the horizon where the Light is and where your hope stands firm. Fear not; this winter won’t last forever, which is reason enough to rejoice this Christmas.

Merry Christmas. ❤️
Full devotion at Crossmap.com (link in bio)
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Genesis 12:3-5

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I haven’t “introduced” myself in quite a while, an I haven’t “introduced” myself in quite a while, and I know how it is to follow a Social account, forget I followed it, and then see something pop up and wonder who it’s from and when I started following them. (Full disclosure: This has been known to happen within one day.)🤷🏻‍♀️

So, here goes: Hi 👋🏼 I’m Susan. I’m a writer, blogger, extroverted introvert, worrier, fear fighter, anxiety survivor, believer in Jesus, encourager, wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt and friend. 

* I write words that encourage and uplift. A few years ago, I started my blog, carryonmyheart, because writing helped me process and get everything inside my head “out.”

* The name of my blog contains the last words my grandma spoke to my family and me. You can click on the link in my bio if you’re curious about that. ❤️

* I’ve been blessed to have my writing published, a dream I never thought possible.

* I’m a very private person, so writing words that go out into the world is not easy or comfortable for me, but I feel it’s essential for a few reasons: I write to tell my story, talk about Jesus, and make sense of the nonsensical. I write to encourage others who battle with fear, anxiety, panic, depression and wrestle with faith because I know what it feels like to think you’re alone in that struggle.

* I have four brothers, married someone who has 6 brothers and I have 3 sons. No sisters or daughters but I’ve been blessed with wonderful sister-in-laws and amazing nieces. ❤️

* I’ve been married for 25 years to a firefighter. I have three sons; one is in Army basic training, one just graduated college, and the last is in high school and going through driver’s Ed. ( I AM SO THANKFUL this is the last kid I have to teach to drive!)😅

* My favorite thing to do is laugh and I’m drawn to funny people. I have amazing girlfriends that bring me so much joy. We get together and do ridiculous things (like taking prom pictures ), and laugh so hard our faces hurt. 

* And lastly, I have the cutest dog and cat. The older I get, the more I love my animals. I think my phone has more pictures of them than my kids. 😂

Is there anything you can relate to? I’d love to know. 🥰
I know not every ending is good, and not every beg I know not every ending is good, and not every beginning is beautiful—there is a portion of pain in most endings and even some beginnings. But I know God finds us, walks with us, and loves us best in the things that hurt, change, end, and begin.

Sometimes, we hold so tightly to the ending that we miss the beautiful beginning just around the corner. I pray today that we’ll look past the ending and see what God has in store over the horizon.

Read more: link in bio ✨

#carryonmyheart #christianblogger #faithblogger #encouragementwriter #faithwriter
I guess this is my cue that I’m done writing for t I guess this is my cue that I’m done writing for the day 🤷🏻‍♀️🥰😆 The minute they see me sit down in a comfortable spot to write they assume I’ve made them a bed. 

(To all you writers or people that work from home: do your animals do this?!) 

#carryonmyheart #faithwriter #encouragementwriter #faithbloggers #faithblogger
One week ago, our Logan left for basic training. H One week ago, our Logan left for basic training. He took the last couple of weeks off of work before leaving to spend time with family, friends, and his beloved old truck, which he’s worked hard to finish. 😂

I’m so thankful for that precious time with him before he left. We did things every day, like running errands, where we could spend time talking about life. We went to the zoo as a family—something we did often when the boys were little—and took a vacation with family, where we ate good food and laughed a lot. Finally, our beautiful family and friends who love him big came and covered him in hugs, kisses and prayer. 

Then, the day I was dreading came: we drove to the airport; I hugged him tight, reminded him to eat and be safe, and watched him walk through TSA while I spilled warm, salty tears. That drive home was the quietest drive we’ve ever taken.

Six days after he’d gone, I got a surprise FaceTime call from a soldier who looked a lot like my son. We patched Dad in, who was at the fire department, so Loges could show off his dog tags and shaved head and share that he had taken a trip to the emergency room. But he’s okay. 

“He’s okay.” It’s what I whisper these days—more like holy words, spilling out as prayer while I pass by his too-quiet bedroom.

Yes, it’s “just” basic training, and he’ll be back. But let me tell you: as I watched him walk through those metal detectors and disappear among the throngs of people, I knew then that life would never entirely be the same. 

Something ended. Something began. 

This kid has always had the heart of a servant. I knew from the time he was five or six that he would do something selfless. It’s just in his nature. And I’ve been holding my breath ever since.

I am beyond proud of this young man and the servant’s heart he possesses, but boy, is it hard on my heart. I miss him. Period. I can’t wait to give him the biggest hug when I see him again. ❤️ 

And also. Please pray for our troops… and their moms. I can safely speak for every military mom; we appreciate it. ❤️🙏🏻

#mysonisarmystrong
(2Corinthians 12:8-9) Paul’s message in this scri (2Corinthians 12:8-9) 
Paul’s message in this scripture is not one of defeat, where we shrug our shoulders and say, “Well, I tried,” No, it’s one of victory! It’s the key to understanding how God’s power is perfected. His strength rests with the weak, the struggling, the poor, and the grieving. The truth we so often forget is that our humanity is what qualifies us to carry God’s power. Jesus granted to us, through the Holy Spirit, the “Divine power” for “All things that pertain to life and godliness.” (2 Peter 1:3)

This world will tell us to overcome, ignore, and banish our weaknesses. However, God tells us to rest in his grace, which is enough for him to do his powerful, perfect work. His strength shines brightest when we finally lay it all down and admit, “I’m weak; I can’t do this.”

The truth is that your weakness can be the most significant conduit of God’s power. Knowing this should cause us to victoriously shout aloud with Paul, “When I am weak, then I am strong!” 

#carryonmyheart #christianblogger #strongandcourageous #powerinweakness
Just incase you or someone you love need this remi Just incase you or someone you love need this reminder today:

I know people have made you feel this way—and most likely even your own mind—but you’re not crazy. I promise. The panic that keeps hammering you and the thoughts that won’t stop spinning has a name: They are panic and anxiety. Again, no, you’re not crazy.

YOU’RE HUMAN. 

#anxiety #panicattacks #hopeforanxiety 
#truthandkindness 

❤️‍🩹link in bio to finish reading
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I’m a wife to Don, who happens to be my best friend. I’m also a mama to three wonderful, fun, and dashing young men. I love words and writing, and I love encouraging others to follow Jesus and trust Him with their lives.
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